Hello everyone! It’s…been an odd summer. Let’s go down the list shall we?

First, I got a job! But not any job! I got a job that I actually like. That I like and I’m good at. I’ve been tending to flowers at an unnamed home improvement store and I honestly haven’t felt this great in years. I’ve lost weight, I’ve gotten in shape, and I’ve gotten compliments on my skills from bosses to corporate to random strangers. This is literally the first time I’ve worked a job that didn’t feel like it was peeling layers off my skin every second of the day. Which leads me to my next big announcement:

I’m going back to school.

WELL I’m going back to my old community college for a “Fundamentals in Horticulture” certificate. But I have to buy a text book so to me that counts as going back to school. For those who don’t know me personally college was…bad. Really bad. Really really really bad. Walked away with an AA in Liberal Arts after five years and a lot of debt bad. So I’m slightly panicking over the fact I’m heading back in just a few short weeks.

But Amber (or Aught, or Fish, depending how you know me) you say, those are good! I’m sure nothing bad happened and oh wait something bad did happen huh

My freakin’ laptop is dying. Right now it’s currently in the shop as I decide its fate. They’re not sure if they can fix it because they’re also not sure if the hard drive is about to die or not. I’m writing this update on my brother’s computer and let me tell you I am having horrible flashbacks when we were forced to share a computer back in the day. We could only have one game on it at a time AND we kept stumbling over each other’s poorly hid porn stash. Just terrible!

And right as my laptop decided to enter maybe-dead limbo I ended up in the hospital after a severe allergic reaction to a plant in the dumb cane family. The good news is that this is covered under workman’s comp, the bad news is that I lost three days pay. All which happened after I paid for the expensive certificate class. Not to mention that whole “I’m moving next April and this will cost All Of The Money” thing happening.

What this is leading to is FUNDRAISER TIME! But like an actual good one, not one where you’ll be forced to buy overpriced candy, or pay me to walk in circles, or go to a bake sale which you know half of the people just bought premade cupcakes from Shoprite while the other half are trying to get you to try their vegan cupcakes with carob and they say it tastes just like chocolate but we all know THAT IS A FILTHY LIE KAREN 

Ahem.

I’m getting ideas together but so far I’m planning:

1) Doodle Donations! Donate and get a drawing done by me in only the finest MSpaint! Here’s a quick example of what you could get:

2) Huggabot Raffle! Donate and get a chance to win your very own pocket-sized Huggabot! Keep it by your computer to remind yourself to eat and drink! Put it by your bed to remind you to take your pills! Have it stare into your soul as you talk to it about your relationship with your father! Every month I’ll raffle off a new Huggabot until it’s move time!

Here’s an example of a previously made Huggabot owned by my dear peapod Wyntera:

3) Ko-fi fic! I’ve been kicking around this idea for awhile, but now I’ve figured out a good story for it. The basic idea is that once a donation goal is reached I will write a chapter for a brand new McHanzo fic! My patreons will get access to it first as always. (Also don’t think I’ve forgotten about you guys! I got plans for my patreons too!)

What’s the fic about? Well I’ll give you a small hint…it’s going to involve a *lot* of ribbons.

4) And as always you can find ways to help me out over here

5) Not to mention you can help out in the long term by downloading and reading my short story The Midwife and the Lindworm! If you have read it then please consider leaving a review on Amazon or Goodreads. Already left a review? Then join a local book club and slowly climb the ranks so when it’s your turn to suggest a book you shove a Lindworm in their face! Because no one wants to read The Secret again, KAREN

Thank you all once again for your support! It’s been a hell of a busy summer and my writing has suffered for it, but now that the busy season has ended I can focus on what’s really important: Writing stories where people kiss robots. This means the world to me, and I couldn’t be doing this without you!

Cept you

KAREN